“Special” is a word I have almost stopped using because like many of the over-used expressions of affirmation or self-assertion in which we find ourselves awash, it has very little meaning. The saccharine ritual of instructing children that “You are special” has led even the inattentive among them to discern that if everyone is special, then there is nothing special about it.
This cynicism has crept into our culture with the frequent echo of that so-called “church lady” when people pronounce “Oh, isn’t that spey-shull!” Undaunted, earnest folks looking to convey something positive still will say that a person is special.
That is not to say that the impulse behind the expression is as devoid of value as the word is of meaning. People want to say something positive, but they do not know how – or they are afraid. What is to be afraid of, you may ask?
To say someone is precious, that is, highly valued, implicitly acknowledges that there is one who values. To say you are delightful is to acknowledge that the person gives delight to somebody. To whom? The delighted one can claim that place by admitting, I am glad that I know you. To tell a person, “It is good that you exist” is to move beyond the relative to the absolute value of “good.” Still, the recognition is an interpersonal event that requires a person to acknowledge the goodness in the other’s very being.
This, step by step, moves toward the truth that a person is loved. This requires and presupposes one who loves; a lover – the lover. The fear I mention is, I think, a fear of claiming that title, of taking that responsibility. We acknowledge that the person is lovable; and yes, we are willing to love that they exist; but are we – you and I, regular people in regular relationships – ready to claim the title, the responsibility, the awesome burden of being the one who loves them? Only rarely, and only cautiously, will we step into that role. Fear makes us weak, and that weakness has dire consequences.
This week I read one of the saddest sentences I have ever seen in the supervised interview given by that tennis player who was explaining that absolutely nothing unpleasant had happened to her in the period after she had announced a government official had sexually abuse her, and oh, by the way, she was abandoning her brilliant tennis career. She said, “Since then, my life has been just what it is supposed to be; nothing special.”
This is the self-understanding that is expected and demanded by the ideologues who subordinate any and every precious human life to the growth and goals of the ideology. This is the slogan that must be sung in full throated unison, or it will be wrung from people in the gasp of their dying breath. This is the song that is being forced from the mouths and minds of more and more of our brothers and sisters, who are, in truth, precious; whose very existence is a great good, who are worthy of love and capable of love. This is worse than tyranny; this is dehumanization.
This is the power and this is the will that steps in to the highest place when the one who loves is pushed aside. This is the fate of all who have never heard, or who have rejected, the Eternal Word of Love spoken to them as you and I have heard and continue to hear Him.
Specialness can be given and specialness, clearly, can be taken away, and the one who was special reduced to less than nothing. But Love is eternal and undying and bestows on the beloved an identity that cannot ever be reduced, much less removed. Because you and I are loved by the One Who Loves, we can love, we must love. We have been given life in order to be able to give life, to rescue souls from tyranny and destruction. Listen to the Word; speak the Word of Love: It is good that you exist! You are worthy of love! I want you to live forever!
Monsignor Smith
